Gentlewoman Farmer
Hi friends! It’s been a while since I did a catch up post. There’s so much going on here and so many changes that I’ve made or am in the process of changing so I wanted to give you an update. It’s in no particular order and will totally random!
I titled this post the “Gentlewoman Farmer'“ because I want to get away from the term homesteading. The term homesteading has a lot of different connotations to it, not all of them positive. One part of the debate with the term homesteading is the historical connotations and how white settlers pushed indigenous people from the land. That’s bad enough. But the other part is it is now associated with the ultra-religious, conservative mindset. You might not know this about me, but I am not religious nor conservative. I typically do not highlight my personal beliefs or leanings when it comes to my business. That is a hold over from being married and not making waves. I’m not really looking to make waves, but I do want to start identifying the things that are important to me. And what’s important to me is to be open-minded and accept people for who they are. That’s hard, I know. But that’s who I am and who I will continue stepping into being. So. No more homesteading. From now on I will be considering myself a Gentlewoman Farmer. I did an AI request for other terms that stepped away from homesteading and here’s what AI came up with:
Heritage Farm Specialist
Genteel Farming Expert
Premium Sustainable Farming Consultant
Curator of Luxury Agrarian Experiences
Cultivated Farm Lifestyle Expert
I like all of them and I’m not sure which one will stick, but I do know that Gentlewoman Farmer is a mouthful! LOL. What is your favorite terminology from the list above? Or do you have a different suggestion? I am leaning towards Heritage Farm Specialist or Sustainable Farming Consultant. Maybe as I grow my consultation business I will use that one more.
Next up, I have been feeling a little bedraggled lately. I started a new job to help with income during this pivot. I am not going into details because the job is not something I enjoy. I have been really struggling with a lot of things these past few months. I’ve made the conscious decision to not talk about really personal and private things anymore, unless I know you. If I know you, call me and we can chat. But. For the sake of catching you all up, things have been really stressful lately. I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of a lot of things that life threw at me (and I tried to dodge for a while) and trying to fight my way out of it. And I think I have done that. I still struggle with the anxiety of how I am going to make it financially, but I am also working on a good, solid plan that has goals and action steps aligning with my future potential. I believe in things again. I believe in myself again. It will take time and I will need to take on a full time career role in the meantime. More about that below.
I said all of that to say that I’ve let myself get dragged down by circumstances. There’s only so much one person can take before they falter. And I’ve been faltering. I stopped going to the gym. I practically stopped taking care of myself. I’ve been going through the motions of life. And now I have a blocked salivary gland. It’s the weirdest thing. It’s like a kidney stone except it’s behind your ear and in front of your ear (the parotid gland to be exact). And it’s painful. Every time I eat, the gland backs up with saliva and gets hard as a rock and swells. Nothing to be done except wait it out and make sure it doesn’t turn into an infection. I’ve been guzzling water though. And let this be my lesson to not let things go. It reminds me of when I first separated from my ex-husband and was on my own for the first time in 20+ years. I had a hard time functioning because I was so scared I wouldn’t make it without a man. I ended up with diverticulitis and that turned out to be a turning point for me. I recovered from it after a month of being sick and on antibiotics and I vowed I wouldn’t look back. And here we are again at a place in my life where I feel I’m at the bottom and I’ve treated myself poorly because of it. And much like then, I am coming up with a plan that will kick myself into high gear.
I’ve learned a lot these past few months. I know myself better than I ever have. I know who I am and how I react to things. I listen to that gut feeling telling me that things are off or not right or not leading me in the direction I need to go in. I still have those old behaviors creep up that make me say yes when I mean no. But I am getting stronger and becoming a better listener every day. Sometimes, well most times, I doubt myself. I doubt that I will make it. I doubt that I have what it takes to be successful. But then I stop and listen to myself and think about how for the past 20+ years I was cultivating my skills to start this new business. I’m a firm believer that my gut will lead me in the right direction. I just need to slow down and listen to it.
In other news, I have some really fun things planned for the future of Gather Event Design. I have made a list of all the things that I would like to accomplish and do in life, as far as income goes, and I am working on a plan to incorporate it all. It will take a lot of time, hard work, dedication, and planning, but I’ve got all of that.
I bought a Roku for the TV. If you know me, you will know that I can live without TV. Sometimes, in a pinch, I would watch TV on my laptop. I mean, I do love a good TV show or movie, but I also don’t live to watch TV. I’ve got lots of other things that I can do to keep me occupied. But. I do like to see shows and movies on occasion, and I’m not going to lie, TV has been a nice reprieve for me these past few weeks. Anyway. I started watching the Beckham documentary and friends. It is so good. I remember David Beckham and Posh Spice from the ‘90’s but I didn’t know a lot about him. The documentary is centered primarily around him with some Posh (Victoria is her actual name). I won’t give things away, but if you like a good documentary and you have Netflix, put it at the top of your watch list. It’s very inspiring. They both started from nothing but with their hard work and dedication, they made it. And isn’t that normally the case? If you think about it, and this is very inspiring to me, they worked hard. They figured out the right channels, yes, but it wasn’t like they posted on social media one day and the next they were famous. No. They worked hard and made good decisions and that’s how they became Becks and Posh.
I’ve been thinking a lot about being an event planner and how I need to tighten up my game. I’ve been so distracted with life and being in survival mode and how I am going to make it financially that I’ve let a lot of things slip. And really, I’ve been letting things slip for far too long. I remember when I used to be very detail oriented, neat, and organized and how that got shut down so many times because of the environment I chose to step into and the people I allowed into my life (see below). Then after watching the aforementioned documentary and seeing David Beckham and how detail oriented and organized he is, I’m choosing to step back into that place. I miss being clean and tidy. Organized. Detail oriented. I mean, I’m all these things, but I used to be so much more. And that gave me satisfaction and peace of mind.
So. All of this means I am taking the time to get back to myself. To be the best version of me that I can be. My biggest anxiety producer right now is the financial aspect. I put all things financial on the back burner to deal with things life was throwing at me that were very heavy and overwhelming. And now I am paying the price for that. Now I am scrambling to fix my financial situation and that has led me to saying yes to opportunities that I should be saying no to. I am a big believer that we are products of who and what we surround ourselves with. When we surround ourselves with toxicity, we bred toxicity. When we surround ourselves with small, we stay small. And the opposite is true. When we surround ourselves with people, places that are growing and leveling up, we will naturally want to level up. I have been surrounding myself with toxicity and small for far too long. Right now I am in a situation, financially, where I can’t get away from it. But I am making strides to get out from underneath it all. And then I will not put myself in that position ever again.
In other, less heavy, news I am pulling out all the Christmas decorations. I must have left a lot behind in the moves over the last few years. I don’t have nearly as much stuff as I thought I did! I will work on adding things to my collection but this year it is what it is. I haven’t decorated for about 3 years so it’s nice to have that chance.
Speaking of having chances, I am grateful to have this cozy little home to settle into for the foreseeable future. I don’t know where life will take me next but I know one of my goals for the next few months is to settle here and get back to being that Gentlewoman Farmer I’ve always longed to be. I’ve met her a little but she hasn’t really shown herself lately nor has she stepped fully into that role. That is what we will be working on as we move forward-reintroducing the gentlewoman farmer who loves to decorate, thrift, style, make things, and just excel in all the things. I’m excited about that!
And, one more exciting development this past week! I finally got to talk to a long time FB and IG friend that I’ve known for years. She was probably one of the first people I connected with when I started my IG way back when it was my personal instagram. She and I have the same aesthetic. She’s an event planner. I want to be one. We both love photography and thrifting/antiquing. It was so nice to finally talk to her! Friends. If you are thinking about reaching out to someone you met online (and have known for a while. None of that weird suspect stuff), I suggest you do it. Maggi and I have exchanged Christmas cards through the years. I feel like we were already friends. She gave me the encouragement I needed to know that these next steps are the ones I need to be taking. And to take my time. I’m in no rush. Set a good foundation and then it will be like clock work and I can find my clientele.
In between all of this, I went to the county fair back in September. It’s a big fair and always a good time! I mean, look at those pumpkins, watermelons, and such! I also was at the Museum of Appalachia for 3 days during their harvest festival. I made soap over an open flame y’all!
Oh! And I almost forgot! I had the chance to decorate a tree for the Knoxville Family Justice Center last week. How could I let that slip my mind! Here are a few pictures from the work we did. They had a bunch of decorations donated to them and we took them apart and built a new tree and then some!
And finally, if after reading all of this and you want to help out, I would really appreciate a few things that are no or low cost. First, write me a Google Business review. All my reviews and business SEO stuff revolved around Chicken Librarian. You can also leave a comment on my journal posts. I do have some workbooks that are on sale until the end of the year so consider purchasing one. You can also share my journal post(s) with your social media audience. Or sign up for my newsletter. These things add up quickly!
At any rate, if you feel inclined please do. If not, I hope you will continue reading, because as I stated above we are just getting started. I am planning lots of things and I hope to see you along on the journey.
‘til next time
-k
xoxo
